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22 April 2012 @ 03:05 pm
child support  
Is it ever appropriate for a kid to know how much their non-custodial parent is paying in child support?

Does your answer change if the NC parent is telling their child "I give your parent $1500 a month in child support, what are they DOING with it all?" when in reality they're paying about a third of that?
They're Coming To Get You Barbara!lisasimpsonfan on April 22nd, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
There is nothing wrong with a child knowing both parents are supporting them. I don't get it when parents are oh so secret about money. My daughter might not know our exact income but it's important to teach her how money works including how it comes into the household and how it goes out. Someday she is going to have to support herself and too many young adults go out and dig themselves a pile of debt because their parents never taught them how money works.

It is not appropriate to question your child on how the other parent spends their money. If the NC parent has a question then should talk to the parent.
rikkicareyrikkicarey on April 22nd, 2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
I agree.... I think it is actually important. BUT it's even more important that the information is factual. The 'real' problem here is the way/reason/incorrect information that was given. Without assigning blame or name calling ... I think you should sit down with a pen and paper an show you child what cones in and what goes out.....
felizlahdedahguaparella on April 22nd, 2012 10:56 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's appropriate.


Also, almost a year and a half with no post over here'
Bobbiebabs6219 on April 22nd, 2012 11:51 pm (UTC)
I think it depends on the ages of the children. My ex-husband didn't pay child support for over a decade. He finally got pulled over in another state on a separate charge and after he was arrested on that, they noticed that he also had a suspended license and a warrant for arrest from Texas. Eventually, he paid part of what he owed after spending a few months in jail and now he's paying CS every month. Our daughters are 17 and 19, and they know he pays child support and how much it is.

However, when he didn't pay child support, they never knew about it. If he pays every month the amount he is supposed to, including what he paid to get out of jail and what he paid at his first court date, he will be caught up when they are 23 and 21. Because part of this money is what allowed me to upgrade their cell phones and I used some of the first bulk payment he paid to buy them the car they share, it would have been impossible for me to not tell them. I wouldn't have discussed it with them they were younger because I didn't want them to associate how much Daddy loved them with whether or not he paid child support. I think it's easy to get those confused when kids are little.
felizlahdedahguaparella on April 23rd, 2012 12:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, in your case, completely understandable. They're much older. I get after going through that sharing that info with them.
Katkatsiss on April 22nd, 2012 11:44 pm (UTC)
No way.

I don't bring the child into it. Call the NC parent and ask where the rest of the $ is.
name, schmameeither_or on April 23rd, 2012 02:23 am (UTC)
I knew how much my dad paid in child support for me and it just made me feel bad (because it was very little).
Herkko Rosvo-Ronkainenmissingkeys on April 23rd, 2012 06:16 am (UTC)
I think it's fine for the kids to know if the parents feel like sharing. I don't think it's right to just go making up a figure like that, however.
wonderful caricature of intimacysarawr on April 23rd, 2012 11:59 am (UTC)
It's fine for kids to know, in a "this is part of our household income/expenses" scenario. In a "we're fighting about your support and we're using this information to hurt each other in various ways" scenario -- which this one is -- the kids should be left out of it.
cybastovcybastov on November 15th, 2016 02:27 pm (UTC)
Does your answer change if the NC parent is telling their child "I give your parent $1500 a month in