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04 June 2010 @ 10:48 pm
Your spouse is making enough money to allow you to stay home with your (smaller than school-age) children. You get a chance to take a full-time job in your field, that would allow you to pay for daycare. Do you take it, or do you stay home? Why?
Gemma fucking Tellerayanamisama on June 5th, 2010 02:53 am (UTC)
Is it my dream job? If it's just another job in my field, I'd probably stay home. If it's THE job, I'd drop kiddo in daycare immediately.

I plan on working at least part time after I have kids anyway. In my field I'll be able to work out of the house a few hours a week on my schedule and I can look into gigs and bigger jobs later.
notodettenotodette on June 5th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
What's the dream job?
Gemma fucking Tellerayanamisama on June 5th, 2010 02:58 am (UTC)
I'm in school for music ed, ideally I'd like to be placed with a high school band with a good marching band program, an excellent choir, and chamber music options for the kids. That said, I'd be happy enough to see a high school music position open up and I'd probably take it immediately. I'd also be down for teaching college ensembles.

Once I have kids, if I'm not already in a job I love, I can always stay home and teach privately from the house/do gig work for theater programs or chamber ensembles part time while hunting for The Job. :P
satellite6satellite6 on June 5th, 2010 02:59 am (UTC)
Well, that totally depends on how you feel about staying home with your children and how you feel about your field. Personally, I'd stay home with the kids because I find that to be more rewarding. But then I don't have any special affinity for my field - or any field, really.
thismakebelievethismakebelieve on June 5th, 2010 03:00 am (UTC)
It would have to be my dream job, now that I'm accustom to spending my days playing with the baby and shopping
Foxy Voxyvoxangelus on June 5th, 2010 03:14 am (UTC)
It'd have to be something more than a basic drone job to get me to give up staying home and doing what I like, even if it paid well.
Rebeccaimwithrebel on June 5th, 2010 03:20 am (UTC)
I wouldn't take it. Being a SAHM is very important to me and my husband. Plus, unless it was a really big amount of extra money (unlikely since my degree is in teaching), I can make just as much doing my freelance work at home, crafting, clipping coupons, being in a lower tax bracket, etc. and then I still get to be home with the babies.
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elizabethann40elizabethann40 on June 5th, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
It depends: how stable is my husband's job? How do I feel about my field? Is it *just* paying for daycare? <--must add on that one: it might be okay for me if it's 'just' paying for daycare...keeping current is important in my field, and it might have been worth it.

How supportive is the husband on having me working? Is he expecting me to do full time OTH and still do all the full time house chores?

I really, really like what I do for a living, so I would usually skew to the job. My kids did well in daycare, and are starting to get launched well into college, which at least validates that I didn't mess 'em up too badly...
Nikki!!alocin on June 5th, 2010 05:01 am (UTC)
I wouldn't.
But that's because I already work and have been perpetually tired for the last 5 months. I'd give my left arm to be able to stay at home and enjoy their childhood.
this_worm_winethis_worm_wine on June 5th, 2010 05:01 am (UTC)
I wouldn't take it if my partner was working as well. In my family, the kids have all had one of their parents stay home and raise the kids and my FH and I want to give our kids a similar upbringing. Initially, it will be be at home, until the youngest child is weaned. After that, whether its him or me is anybody's guess, but either way, our kids won't be in day care, no matter how much we could potentially earn.
this_worm_winethis_worm_wine on June 5th, 2010 05:02 am (UTC)
Yikes. That post makes me wish I still had a paid account so I could edit my comments. I apologise for the english fail.
cinder_sweetcinder_sweet on June 5th, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
I'm going to go on the opposite of most of the responses. I realize that a lot parents like to stay home with their children and are filled with happiness to have that opportunity. Currently, I am a stay-at-home mom and have alternated between working and homemaking over the years. Two of my younger children are still not kindergarten age yet. I feel happier when I have a job. I have worked varying shifts (overnight and M-F days) and yeah there are still disadvantages to working or not working no matter how one slices it (or at least in my case). If I can work my dream job and place my children in quality childcare with a provider who can work with me on what I want for them, then I would be happy. I don't have the motivation to teach them skills and concepts everyday, but a provider may do a better job of that than I ever can. I do believe that a happier mom can make for happier kids and a happier household overall.
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cpufemcpufem on June 5th, 2010 10:49 pm (UTC)
personally i wouldn't work until the kids were ready to go to school. i want to be with my children as much as possible in their formative years.
donkeymoodonkeymoo on June 6th, 2010 06:51 am (UTC)
depends how young the kids are. i'm hoping to be able to stay at home til my son is at least 3 (he's 5 months now). mind you, i really dislike my "field".

zombiebubbles: Awwwzombiebubbles on June 6th, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
If my children were old enough to go into school I would have a day job but it would have to have flexable hours so I could pick my children up from school every day. I don't have kids yet being I'm only 20 but someday if life works its magic I'll get to make that choice someday.
.·:*¨¨*:·. *Jewelz* .·:*¨¨*:·.jewe1z on June 8th, 2010 10:49 pm (UTC)
Ten years ago I'd probably have said I'd take it. Now, probably not. It would take a LOT for me to give up being the one kissing boo-boos and cherishing the infant/toddler moments for a job if I had a choice. You blink and they're like 5 and you can never get those precious moments back. But everyone has a price and if my children weren't newborns, if had an alternative to complete strangers raising them, and if I were presented with an amazing chance-of-a-lifetime job opportunity that wouldn't knock twice and made a boatload of money, I think I'd be crazy not to take it.
Kathrynsurvivinglove on June 26th, 2010 07:13 pm (UTC)
Let's see... giving up the most precious time in your child's life...to be there, to watch it all happen...for a job that could replace you in about 10 seconds?

I'd stay home:)

I speak from experience, too! Immediately after my little boy was born, I was offered a job doing what I love for 90K/year....I thought about it for about 2 seconds and then said thanks but no thanks and to call me in 5 years. I thought that if I was offered a good salary that I would have considered it (before LO was born)...I was surprised at how easy it was to say no.
ms.romashka: applausems_romashka on July 23rd, 2010 01:34 pm (UTC)
Bravo! :)
Love in Repetitionlovey_dorlaque on July 5th, 2010 05:47 am (UTC)
Staying home works for some. I have two sons and tried both the SAHM and the WOHM. I love my boys. They are both well adjusted (actually the SAHM son is more needy and sensitive while the WOHM is more sure of himself), but I liked my life less when I stayed home. And now for the six or seven hours per day five days out of the week that I'm gone and getting paid to be gone, I feel more myself. Sure, it was more convenient the first time around not having to pump breastmilk for two years since my firstborn was with me constantly, but in the end my soon to be six year old (I stayed home with him until he was three and weaned from the breast.) is far more dependent as a result. I don't knock that. AT ALL. He's a baby still, I love that he's dependent for the most part, but he has several mini emotional breakdowns daily when things don't go his way. While my other son is far more relaxed maybe, it was the fact that he had to learn object permanence the hard way pretty much eight months after he was born. I am with them for 17 hours out of the day...occasionally my four year old will cosleep. I missed somethings, but when both of them graduate highschool and collect their college fund, it may be worth so much more. I just want to raise confident, secure children. Each of us have different means to the same end. For me, I have to work. I'm future oriented. We fill my off days and my after work moments at the zoo, the park, and where ever else they want to go. So, it works both ways. It just has to work for you. Having had the choice, working outside the home dealing with adults for a few hours definitely works for me abject all of my attachment parenting core beliefs. On that note, it is worth mentioning that my husband and I prefer not to use daycare. So, it's the best of both worlds. I work days, he works nights...we meet in the middle and relish our days off together. It totally works for us.
Meredithfleckerbug on July 26th, 2010 12:13 pm (UTC)
Stay hone, because I want to stay home with my kids. I likely wouldn't have been doing that in the first place if I wanted to work. Yeah, it's in my field and we can pay daycare (and I'd have to be well past affording daycare), but I'd still want to be home with my kids. I feel that being at home with a parent is better for children than daycare and would rather cut back to achieve that.
medea34 on August 18th, 2010 02:44 am (UTC)
I love my work, can't imagine being a SAHM or being dependent on my spouse financially. I also found myself getting a little stir crazy while I was on mat leave. my little guy has more fun at daycare than I could plan for him on a good day, much less an average one.
cinema_babecinema_babe on August 27th, 2010 09:45 pm (UTC)
I would.

The younger kids are the more supervision they have. I don't mind having my young child in daycare all day because they are being supervised. On the other hand, I *do* want to be around for my teenager. At that point in their life I would like to be a SAHM and have that house all the other teenagers flock to after school.

Does it mean my kid would never get into trouble? No, but being at home all day would make it easier to get to know my child better as well as get to know his or her friends.